Meltdowns… Temper tantrums… Do these words ring a bell? If you’re a parent, I’m sure we’re thinking the same way: we typically see these behaviors with a toddler.

When my son turned two, I noticed more frequent episodes of these plus the power struggle. Admittedly, this stage is quite difficult to handle especially for a first-time mom. Good thing I have mom friends who were past this phase and so I kept learning from them. Let me share with you the tips and tricks to guide you in surviving the “terrible twos” towards “terrific twos.”

Queenie, a mom to a 3-year-old and a guidance associate, recalls that her son at this time tends to be defiant in following the rules. “There were meltdowns due to his unwillingness to wear diapers, or being disturbed in his play time when he needs to take a bath or have his meals on time. There were times that he cries over little things whenever his requests or wants was not given right away.”

On the other hand, this is also a time when they are more active in exploring their environment. Clariz, a mom to a 4-year-old and a mental health counselor, shared that her son was very curious of his surroundings at that age. “He preferred spending time outdoors and using his body to learn more about his environment. He liked walking, jumping, and climbing the stairs.”

Though this may paint a chaotic and adrenaline-filled scene in your mind, know that you are not alone. Take note of these pointers to help you in raising your 2-year-old:

Since your child’s curiosity is at its peak, it makes him/her more prone to accidents. Make sure that sharp and fragile objects are out of your child’s reach. Install protective devices such as edge and corner guards as well as socket covers. In this way, you can ensure that your house is a safe environment for your child.

For working parents who might have a hard time looking after their child, you might consider availing the service of a nanny or caretaker. Queenie suggests “If you have the means and resources, it will be advisable to have someone who is dedicated enough in ensuring the safety of the child especially if both of you are working.”

Once activities are organized and practiced rigorously, it provides your child a sense of security and stability. Thus, sticking to the schedule would lessen meltdowns because they are already used to what is done on a daily basis. This also applies when it comes to discipline.

Queenie expounds “It is important that us parents must be consistent and firm with our rules and discipline methods. We follow a good cop and bad cop strategy whenever we discipline the child so that boundaries and roles are well established.”

Instead of being mindful of your child’s tendency to exhibit negative behavior, shift the focus to noticing his\her positive behavior. By doing so, your child will be more inclined to repeating these good acts.

Clariz explains “Acknowledge daily glimmers. You can acknowledge and praise your child for his good behaviors to reinforce these.”

There’s a big difference between just being around and intentionally spending time with your child. The key is interaction. This implies engaging on conversations and activities. There are a lot of creative ways to do this. It can be in the form of games, movies, picnics and nature walks.

Clariz emphasizes “Your presence matters in your child’s development. Through this, you can establish a secure attachment which is necessary for his healthy emotional and interpersonal development.”

Cliché as it may sound, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Raising a child is a very challenging task. In our efforts to provide the best for our kids, this also means responding to our needs. In this way, we could be more efficient in performing our role without setting aside our own well-being.

Clariz recommends “Eat nutritious food, sleep when you can, engage in physical exercise, and seek support.  You can also appreciate and affirm yourself for all the love and care you are pouring to your child. Remember that we can only be better parents if we are rested, energized, and regulated.”

Keep in mind that this is a normal thing that all children go through and will eventually outgrow. It may be stressful at the moment as a parent but also understand that your child is struggling too. He/She is still learning to regulate his/her emotions and so your patience and understanding is what they need the most.

Queenie tells “Time passes so fast that unknowingly all this beautiful chaos at home ends as well. That is why love, understanding and patience must always prevail within your home. Someday, you will just reminisce this time and be proud of what your child has become.”

Sources:

Tips to Help You Survive Your Toddler’s ‘Terrible Twos, July 2021

Linda Rodgers, How to Handle the Terrible Twos, August 2021