I write this with my little one fast asleep beside me. While I enjoy this quiet time to work and think, my mind still races about her supplies running out, her next meal, and, believe it or not, the kind of world she’ll grow up in. I believe that last one is an unspoken worry every parent carries, often buried in our children’s everyday needs.

Lately, there’s been a constant call for kindness in action, in speech, even in thought. With the passing of 19-year-old content creator Emman Atienza, I can’t help but wonder why small acts of kindness now feel rare when they should simply be part of who we are. Has kindness become our second option?

I think about this more often as I raise a child here in the Philippines, a country that continues to endure literal and political storms that affects everyone’s mental health and personal life. As my little one continues to sleep beside me, here are a few more thoughts on kindness and mental health.

Please allow me this moment to think out loud.

There are all sorts of things we see the moment we open our feeds: a distant relative knocking on our hearts for a loved one’s medical expenses, a former colleague trying her hand at content creation, a stay-at-home mom selling homemade goodies for Christmas, a close friend airing out grievances toward a failed government system, or a friend just giving general life advice.

When have we ever stopped to think that these are real people behind words and photos? No one is tougher than the other, for it’s true what they say: everyone has silent battles they constantly fight. It always pays to be cautious when we remove judgment from our minds the moment we read online posts. This goes a long way and reflects on how we will respond.

I honestly dislike hearing, “Back in the day, we didn’t have mental health issues; it isn’t even a thing.” We are living in the present, and the struggles people face today in the age of social media are real. Mental health is real, and so is the everyday need for kindness, whether it be online, at home, in the workplace, and in every corner of our lives.

Again, the call for kindness isn’t just online. It starts where we are and where we live. For instance, how many times have I caught myself showing my child an unkind response simply because I let exhaustion take over? I’m not a perfect parent, nor am I trying to be one, but I try my best to keep my steam from spilling to my child. I don’t want her to carry the weight of my frustrations just so I would feel better.

Kindness should echo through the walls of our homes because it’s exactly where we are supposed to be kind first. The tone of kindness we set at home becomes the foundation our children carry into the world.

The Philippines has just been devastated by two strong typhoons. We saw people who rushed to help, and those who willingly shared what little they have. In these moments, kindness often takes the form of immediate and visible rescue. However, the deeper test of kindness begins after the flooding is gone. This is when there are no cameras, and people quietly rebuild their lives.

People who lost their homes, livelihood, and loved ones after a calamity have undergone struggles we know nothing about. Kindness beyond rescue is what keeps people moving forward after calamities. It shouldn’t be a one-time response to crisis, but a daily practice in the form of genuine care and support.

In a different light, not all rescue equates to kindness. I’m reminded of this when I teach struggling readers to decode words. Sometimes I want to read the word for them to just echo so they won’t struggle any longer. But is that truly the kindness they need, or is it the gentle encouragement from me to let them figure it out themselves?

In this sense, kindness is not rescue. While I am very careful as a teacher not to make them feel they’re not capable, my presence and patience combined is the support they need so they will thrive. Because in truth, I teach not just for them to master the skill, but for them to also gain the confidence they need to conquer other obstacles in life.

Kindness isn’t only something we extend to others. It’s something that begins with us. We owe it to ourselves, too. As I write this, I wonder how many times in a day I actually show myself kindness.

Do I make my coffee the way I actually want it? Do I allow myself to breathe before rushing to the next thing? Do I indulge in small joys, such as a new lipstick, without guilt? We parents convince ourselves we don’t deserve kindness because we haven’t “done enough.” But it doesn’t work that way. In parenthood as in everyday life, we must fill our own cup before we can pour into others.

Maybe the call to kindness is not just about giving it freely to others. Maybe it’s a call to be kinder to ourselves first. In the midst of everyday noise, maybe we are called to be silent, to be introspective, to pause and breathe. Because kindness does not live in the loudness, but in the quietness of the heart.

As I glance beside me at my little one, still fast asleep, I am reminded once more: the world she will grow up in depends on the kindness I show her today. So before we make a comment, join a heated debate, or act on impulse, let’s pause and ask ourselves first:

Am I being kind right now?