Parents today have the benefit of enjoying a wide spectrum of activities they can enroll their kids in, whether for the summer or as an after-school add-on.

But so much pressure is placed on parents these days to make sure their kids are “academically ready” for school that there is a tendency to sign them up for every single class possible, filling up their schedules to “maximize learning.”

We may have forgotten about the wonder of free or unstructured play and its inherent role in preparing kids to thrive – in school and beyond. Read on to discover how it can benefit your kids, and how you can integrate free play in your home routine.

Because free play is inherently unstructured and child-led, it removes the rigidity and pressure of a “scheduled” session and sets your child off to explore and learn in a way that is meaningful to them.

Instead of worksheets or teacher-led activities, your kids will get to do what they’re naturally good at (and meant to be doing) at their age: playing. This sets them up to learn as they go, at their pace, and based on their interests.

For example, they strengthen fine motor skills when they make objects out of Play-Doh, learn numeracy when they count how many blocks they can stack to make the tallest tower in the world, and describe textures and learn new words when they do finger-painting or water play.

What I love best about free play is how it naturally teaches kids how to get creative, how to solve problems, and make their own decisions (and experience the consequences!). During this time, they set the rules of play, and all we have to do as grownups is to follow their lead and make sure all safety concerns are covered.

I’ve personally advocated free play in our home since my son was born, and I remember how his preschool teacher commented on how vivid and wide his imagination is and how easily he’s able to comprehend age-appropriate academic concepts during activities.

I can say that free play had a major role in preparing him for a classroom environment – and to be honest, it’s also done me and my husband a lot of good!

Since kids play by their own rules during free play, they also bear the brunt of the consequences of their actions. This creates opportunities for them to experience failure, disappointment, frustration, and overstimulation – and how to skillfully navigate their way through these.

I remember when my son, during his earlier years, would throw a tantrum every time his attempt to do something would fail.

He would throw blocks across the room if a structure fell down, bang toys on the floor when they wouldn’t work the way he wanted them to, or even throw himself on the floor, scream, and cry when something took too long to fix.

It has taken a lot of modeling, coaching, and sitting in silence to simply “witness” his big feelings over the years, but my son is finally starting to learn how tackle difficult emotions – and many of these moments have happened during free play.

We still get the whining and crying at times, but his threshold for frustration has gotten a lot bigger. Now he knows he can try again when something doesn’t work, or run to us for a hug when he’s really upset.

During free play, kids aren’t “forced” or “directed” to talk to each other. They form connections and relationships naturally.

Of course, it’s important to manage our expectations since different ages correspond to different stages of play. Younger kids tend to play in isolation or just quietly observe other kids even if they’re physically together, while older kids are capable of sharing, collaborating, and playing by specific rules. All of these are okay!

A fellow mom and I make the effort to get together for playdates as often as we can, even if we live on opposite ends of the metro. You see, our babies were born during the pandemic, and were practically each other’s first friend outside family. We witnessed how their dynamic changed over the years.

These days, we’re learning not to interfere when they squabble unless necessary – because they’re learning how to solve problems and repair their relationship in the process. These are life skills we want them to carry along in their later years.

Free play exposes kids to other kids’ worlds – and even when they’re not “making friends” in the way we expect, they’re observing and processing, learning how others play – and ultimately, how to relate with peers. With consistent exposure, they eventually start applying what they’ve observed and learned.

I don’t have anything against summer workshops, after-school clubs, tutorials, or structured activities. I believe each of these serve a particular purpose in our kids’ learning. But I do believe that we shouldn’t fill our kids’ schedules with them!

Perhaps just choose one or two “special” activities to do at a time, then allow the rest of the time be free play. It doesn’t even have to happen in your home, if you don’t want to clean up the mess after (believe me, we fellow parents understand!).

If you have the privilege of having green spaces nearby, frequent them and let your kids run free. If the next best thing is an indoor play space, you can set aside a small budget for that as well.

This is a big one – we need to let our kids experience boredom! It is not our job as parents to entertain them or keep them occupied 24/7. If we do, we rob them of the ability to think for themselves and get creative.

Boredom is the gateway to wonderful free play. It’s an invitation to get curious and explore what seems familiar, and find something new to try or do something differently.

My son recently did something awesome out of boredom. We’ve been introducing “quiet zones” to him – these are blocks of time within his free play time when we step back and do our own thing while he continues to play (no screens, no gadgets).

On one occasion, he got bored with what he usually does with his toys. He checked the timer and saw that he couldn’t go to me and ask me to get involved, because it was still within the quiet zone. After a few moments sitting silently, he suddenly ran to his playroom. He returned with a bucketful of random objects.

“I know what to do! I got these different things. I’m going to make something only with what I have!”

I was amazed and in awe! Because he was bored, he resolved to do something different with the toys he’s always had – to challenge himself to make do with “limited” resources and see what he could come up with.

Boredom can be good for our kids!

I’ll be the first to admit that I can be a control freak and I worry a lot, especially when my child runs at the speed of light, climbs too high for my liking, or jumps off couches without looking at where he’s going. And sometimes to a fault!

But I’m learning that it’s important for their development that kids are allowed and given space to take risks. Not only does this help them realize what they can and can’t do – it also increases their self-confidence.

This sets them up for success in school (and of course, later in life), as they need to reach a level of independence to be able to thrive in a classroom setting.

No doubt about it, though, accidents can happen. And it truly sucks to see our child in pain and have to endure the consequence of taking a risk.

But I’m also learning that they need these life lessons, too, and that I can’t shield them from injury forever – otherwise they’ll never learn that it’s okay to try and that getting hurt can also happen when playing.

So before you keep your child from going on those monkey bars or telling them off from carrying something a bit heavy, take a pause and observe first – and just be there, ready to step in when necessary or needed.

How are you integrating free play in your home? Share your thoughts and tips in the comments section below!