Having always encouraged unstructured child-led play at home, participating in my son’s pretend play has always been part of my morning routine (when it’s my turn to be with him!).

Sometimes it’s a full morning of re-enacting the same scenario many times over; sometimes half an hour of reading books and having conversations about the stories we’ve read; and other times, only jumping in when he asks for my participation.

I’m well aware of how deeply my child benefits from pretend play and storytelling (enhanced language and communication skills, better creativity, and improved social skills, to name a few!), but I’ve come to realize that it’s done a world of good for me as an adult, too. Here’s how!

As many of us grow older and the challenges of our reality ground us, we tend to lose our curiosity and sense of awe. How many times have we complained about the woes of “adulting” and wistfully remember our younger selves, when it was easier to be amazed by the smallest thing or more natural to explore and experiment without “reality” dampening our spirits?

As a mom who thrives on structure and routine, I found myself reconnecting with my inner child while joining my son’s pretend play – the one who had a colorful imagination, who had the capacity to tell stories and ask questions all day long, who would linger thinking about different possibilities and never stop asking “what if?”, and who would do deep belly laughs because a story was just so good.

As parents, we’re so used to drowning out any background noise so we can catch a break (because noise can be so overstimulating!), but when we engage our imagination and join our little ones in pretend play and storytelling, we are forced to actively listen.

When my son is deeply engaged in conversation and painting scenarios with words, I can’t just sit idly by and mumble the obligatory “mm-hmm” in strategic spots. He makes sure I have eye contact with him and asks follow-up questions, which I can’t answer if I’m not fully there with him.

In playing with my son in this way, I’m reminded of the value of active listening. When I listen not just with my ears but with all my other senses (plus my heart!), I’m able to form a meaningful connection with whoever I’m speaking with. Thanks to my son, I’m able to brush up on this essential life skill on the daily – and my husband and close friends benefit from it!

Problem-solving in the real world can get incredibly stressful and anxiety-inducing, particularly for risk-averse people like me. But when I’m engaged in pretend play with my son, it becomes fun and inspiring!

When a structure falls down and needs repair, when there’s a plot twist in the story we’re telling, or when my son throws a curveball in the scenario he’s acting out, I’m free to get as creative as I like in responding to the challenge.

Whether it’s finding a random object and giving it a special power, creating a new character to aid the protagonist, or throwing out ideas and letting my son respond to them, I’m reminded that sometimes, all it takes is fresh perspective, the willingness to try something different and new, or simple but powerful creativity to find solutions to age-old problems or chronic real-life issues.

Pretend play encourages me to get out of my own head and avoid getting “boxed in” by familiar limitations – something I’m also able to apply in many aspects of my life.

If you’re thinking of improving your current setup to maximize pretend play, here are a few items to consider investing in, as well as some tips for a fun and meaningful time.

Open-ended toys are simply those that have no definitive “end”. For example, a puzzle is NOT open-ended because you stop once you’ve formed the complete picture.

This is not to say that puzzles and other close-ended materials like shape sorters, board games, and books should be avoided – they serve their own purpose and do their own part in enriching the development of your child! But open-ended toys evolve in function, grow with your child over time, and encourage limitless creativity when used.

Basic examples of open-ended toys include blocks, “little people” toys, dollhouses, loose parts like buttons and sticks, natural materials, toy food, and kitchen sets. Your child can find different ways to play with these! My son has personally had most of these items since he was a year old and is still using them today (of course, the ones that are more sensitive to age and ability, we just added over time).

Here are some of our favorite pretend play items. What I love about these is that they don’t need to cost a lot! You can buy unbranded versions and they’ll still serve the same purpose:

Magnetic Tiles: Easy to pack away and makes for hours of endless building fun! We love creating structures, paths, and even entire worlds with these.

Blocks: A bit bulkier, but really good for building basic stuff like buildings and vehicles. I always pack a handful of these in my son’s play bag whenever we head out. He doesn’t need a lot of them to start imagining!

Kitchen Set: Great for pretend “restaurant” or “cooking at home” role-playing. There are even sets that use battery-operated lights and sounds to mimic the sounds of a real stove, plus a place to inject water in so that the stovetop “steams” up – plus an actual working faucet so your kids can practice washing up!

Schedule pretend play during your time with the kids. It doesn’t even have to be long, especially on the weekdays. Even just 15 minutes or half an hour will fill up their love tank (and yours, too!). You can just plan for longer pretend play during the weekends (I personally try to do an hour if I can).

Regardless of the amount of time, the important part of pretend play is dedication and attention – this means this should be gadget- or distraction-free for the parents as well.

Apart from reading bedtime stories to your child, try to create the habit of telling and listening to stories throughout the day. Pepper your conversations with questions, anecdotes, and observations (particularly at mealtimes!) so that conversing with your child becomes a natural part of your routine.

You can use any prompt, really, to engage them! It can be a recent movie or show you both watched, a favorite memory, a real-time observation, or an experience you had. Then ask them what they think and let the conversation take off. “What if” questions are great for igniting the imagination as well!