Fatherhood Knows No End: Dads Share How They Maintain Healthy Relationships with their Adult Children

Is there a specific point in a man’s life when he stops playing the role of a father? Will there be a time when he is no longer needed because his kids are all grown-up?

The truth is, fatherhood doesn’t stop as soon as one’s children stop wearing diapers or they learned their ABCs, which is both a challenge and a relief. Ultimately, there’s beauty in knowing that his presence always has an impact on his children’s life, no matter how old they get.

But as children grow into adults leading their own lives and eventually their own families, fathers get pushed to the side of the picture. How do they still maintain healthy relationships with their grown-up children? Three amazing dads share these practical tips.

Fatherhood Knows No End: Dads Share How They Maintain Healthy Relationships with their Adult Children

Recognize and respect each other’s boundaries.

Fathers cannot help it but see their children as little kids still needing their continuous assistance. Though it may be tempting to push himself on their personal lives, fathers must step back and shift roles from being the ultimate decision-maker to being a consultant.

Daddy Lonnie, a clerk, explained that now that his children are all grown-up, he understands that they tend to think and decide on their own and he would only cross the line once he sees that there is something wrong.

He recognizes that at this point in his life, his kids have a different set of needs. “Kailangan nila ng pagsubaybay, pangangaral, at pagpapaalala sa kanila,” he shares. But they are free to choose if they would heed his advice or not. He does this especially to his eldest daughter who is already married. He would not interfere with her decisions when it comes to her own family as it is his way to support her now that she’s a parent herself.

“Ang lagi ko lang sinasabi sa kanya, sa pagsasama namin ng Mama niya, kunin niya ang magagandang bagay na makikita niya at itapon ang hindi maganda.” Daddy Lonnie

Manage expectations and embrace change.

Whether they like it or not, fathers ultimately have to accept that their children’s world would no longer revolve around theirs. As adulthood is marked with individuality, they would have their own dreams and aspirations which could be different than what their fathers wanted for them. In that sense, they must allow their children to act as adults and let them take on their own path.

Daddy Daniel, a former OFW, says that being a father to his adult children is not a walk in the park. “At this point, what they need is guidance that will lead them to a better life.” As life evolved with technology, it was challenging for him to raise them as they tend to be preoccupied with gadgets. Most of the time, he would see them holding their phones so it becomes a struggle to get their attention. For this reason, adjustments had to be made.

He also came in terms with the fact that though sometimes he doesn’t initially approve of something, he would eventually agree so his children could make the most out of their season.

“Every time they ask permission to go out, especially out of town, we just tell them to be careful, even though we don’t like them to go.” Daddy Daniel

Listen and engage in conversations.

Having adult children entails restructuring how fathers communicate with them. Fathers should acknowledge that their now grown-up kids’ insights and opinions, influenced by their life experiences, are also valuable. They must consider having an open conversation with their children with the goal of not only giving advice but also intently listening to them.

Daddy Chico, a pastor and a marriage coach, shares that being a dad to his adult children is still the same just like when they were little.

“My excitement has not changed as each season has always been unique. But to parent adult children is something I don’t find as challenging, but as something that I can learn from.” Daddy Chico

He acknowledges that being a father is a blessing for he continuously grows with his children as he learns from them too. Now that his kids are adults, he observed that they would appreciate support from them as they impart wisdom in their life’s decisions, may it be in terms of career or even raising their own family.

Set a regular schedule for family time.

Since grown-up children have busy schedules due to work or family, it is definitely a struggle to gather everyone in one place.

Daddy Daniel’s advice is not to underestimate the wonders of eating together when possible. A simple lunch or dinner when everyone is present could be a great venue to share life updates. Their family usually have lunch or dinner on Sundays as it is the only time when all his kids are available.

Meanwhile, Daddy Lonnie’s family would typically attend church on Sundays and quickly stroll at the mall afterwards which serves as their bonding time, too.

Commit to pray for one another.

In as much as fathers want to be available for their once little kids 24/7, the fact is they cannot do it any longer. Though it is the case, they can always have them covered through prayers. Praying would offer peace and comfort to your children no matter what they are going through.

Moreover, when it is your children’s turn to make major life choices, seeking God’s help would give them a sense of direction and purpose. Although Daddy Chico’s children are given freedom in making decisions, they have been taught to ask for God’s guidance, because according to him, “To let them hear from God is above all.”


These three great men have all managed to be actively involved in upbringing their children despite time, age, and distance. Indeed, the unconditional and selfless love of a father is worthy of a celebration! May all dads feel loved and cherished every single day. Happy Father’s Day!

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