For some couples, it’s really quite easy to just roll with life and put their kids’ needs first before their relationship. You see these little human beings who are in need of your care and attention, and you feel entirely responsible (because you both created these adorable little creatures after all!) leaving you to set aside your time and needs as husband and wife. But, according to psychologist and leading parenting expert John Rosemond, prioritizing your relationship with your significant other is crucial if you want to raise happy and stable children. Happy parents will always equate to happy children; and happy parents always turn out to be the best teammates, especially when it comes to parenting their kids. Let these five amazing couples inspire you to keep the love alive–despite the many struggles marriage and parenting bring.
“Patrick and I have a far from perfect marriage, we are still learning and failing so much each day. But what anchors us together is knowing that we can cling on to a perfect God to help navigate this imperfect but beautiful marriage. We also made it a point, that though our kids are still very young, we already explained the importance of our marriage to them. We want them to understand that we are husband and wife first, and parents second. My three-year-old understands the concept so clearly, that when we would go on a date, he would say, “Mom I know why you’re going to watch a movie with Dad…it’s because you love each other right?” It makes me happy knowing he is able to feel kilig for his mom and dad. Because it’s also my prayer that when my kids are older, they will find partners who will love and value them just as their dad values me and vice versa.”
“Raising kids is dirty and sometimes painful, yet the rewards seem to outweigh the heartbreak, ALWAYS. As with anything in life, marriage can throw you curve balls; and throughout the years, we’ve learned to dodge them, and most days we catch them and work with what we have. We have learned that married life has its seasons–seasons of bliss, of struggle, of alignment, and oftentimes, seasons where you may disconnect. However, once you both align with the same goal of keeping it together, the light at the end of each tunnel seems brighter and makes it much easier to journey through each one.”
“It’s no walk in the park when a baby is added to a marriage. I don’t think anyone is born ready to be a parent. You both learn things along the way, and I think the secret to keeping the love alive is to still make time for each other and remembering that it’s “you and I” first. We need to love each other and respect each other so our children see that and see how a real loving relationship looks like. We were also brought up differently so parenting styles are different as well. It’s important to discuss and plan on how you want to raise your children so there’s no confusion, and no one looks like the bad guy, hahaha. We’re all beginners once. You’ll get it eventually.”
“Just like any other couple we have good easy days full of love and lambing, and we also have tough days when we argue and have disagreements. The best advice I can give is to have the Lord front and center in your relationship. When you have Him as your anchor, you can really overcome any challenge. In all the decisions we have made as a couple, we pray about it first. Of course, sometimes, it’s very difficult when you’re in an emotional or heated situation, but somehow, when you are able to pause a bit, it almost feels as if He takes over and brings calmness and comfort, that immediately make everything right.”
“The dynamic of a marriage changes when you have children, especially when you have lots of children! It’s common to feel like you need to prioritize your kids over your own spouse, but this isn’t the best way to love them. One of the principles we learned over the years is to avoid child-centric parenting. Children need to see their mom and dad loving one another and in love with one another to feel secure about their family. Therefore, it is important to keep working on the marriage together. We preserve date nights, keep our bedroom as our space, affirm one another, are affectionate with one another in front of our kids, extend forgiveness, and ask for forgiveness. We also have a purpose and a binding factor that is outside of ourselves. For our family, it is our relationship with the Lord. We choose to work on our marriage, and to improve and change for the better because we want to honor God.”