As someone who has been married for six years, I can honestly say that marriage is hard work. I know that six years is barely a stretch, but with each passing day, it really takes a conscious effort to always choose my husband and our partnership. It’s a good thing that there are little things that would constantly remind us of what makes growing into this relationship all the more worth it.
On the other hand, there are also things that could set us off. It could be as simple as not putting the toilet seat down. It’s natural for couples. But knowing what these things are help greatly in knowing each other better and making a relationship stronger.
I got curious and asked different people what factors turn them on and turn them off with their partners. What are the things that make them giddy with kilig? What are the things that they wished their partners never did? I think it’s safe to say that most couples quite share the same joys and frustrations over their partners’ actions.
Sometimes, it’s the thought that someone has your back that really makes a partnership all the more romantic.
“When he remembers small things/details about me and the things that I like” – Shindz
“It can be as simple as yayakapin niya lang ako sa bed” – Gayle
“When she supports my passion and cheers me on” – Iris
“He turns me on when he intuitively understands my needs and acts on them even before I say it out loud.” – Nina
“He knows what I need before I even ask.” – Abby
“She’s my number one motivator and supporter.” – Justin
Sometimes, it’s when our partners bring on the wow factor, even though they’re just doing something that comes naturally to them.
“Tuwing pinabibilib niya ako. Like he’s being my hero, to the rescue ko siya. For example, wala na kming masakyan na bus and he finds a way.” – Gayle
“His cooking skills” – Shindz
“When she takes the initiative and works hard for her dreams” – Josef
“When he works on the things he’s passionate about, like cooking or working on his scooter.” – Lena
“She balances work and married life quite well (kahit workaholic siya).” – Justin
Exchanging laughs and bantering together is always a recipe for a good and fun partnership.
“He and I have the same sense of humor. It is rare to find a partner who is also a good friend and confidant.” – Hermione
“Trying her best to learn things I like and things I know so we can both talk about it. No dull moments.” – Iris
“She’s smart. I love it when we have meaningful and insightful discussions then we top it off with the humorous banter we have for each other.” – Ron
“Having funny and light conversations or bonding moments with him” – Joy
There’s a reason why acts of service is listed as one of the love languages. It really works in making a special someone feel loved and appreciated.
“Hatid-sundo supremacy” – Shindz
“When he takes care of our son” – Joy
“He spoils me by cleaning our room, changing the bedsheets, and even when I’m already comfortably nestled in bed, he volunteers to get things for me—sometimes even going downstairs to bring me fun drinks and snacks.” – Abby
It’s as simple as showing the real you, the one your partner fell in love with.
“She loves and accepts me for who I am and is my partner in everything.” – Todd
“Everything from being organized, funny, loving and caring, plus his quirks. Love all of him as he is.” – Cess
Let’s face it: Nobody likes it when it seems you’re the least important person in your partner’s mind or when you can’t empathize with them for a bit.
“When he doesn’t ask my opinion in decision-making” – Jacqui
“He turns me off when he doesn’t reply or pick up the phone when I need him the most.” – Nina
“When she’s not allowing me to have ‘me’ time or personal time (like not allowing me to play games or not allowing me to go out for a walk)” – Ledge
“He snores very loudly. It doesn’t help with my insomnia.” – Hermione
“When he is being too friendly to other women” – Joy
Getting angry is a valid emotional response, but how we express it or deal with it can be damaging to other people, most especially our loved ones.
“When he’s frustrated about stuff like work or household chaos. Mainitin kasi ulo niya. And then he makes side comments like “Anong problema mo?”, “Bakit mo kailangang malaman?”, “Ano na naman?” – Gayle
“She makes unsolicited insensitive comments when frustrated.” – Justin
“When she’s interfering and making side comments when I’m watching movies, anime, or other stuff that don’t interest her.” – Ledge
“When he is irritable and gets angry easily.” – Joy
“Sometimes hyper focusing on small details that ticks him off and then leads to him being frustrated until everyone around him gets to get that negative energy” – Shindz
It’s a constant struggle in any partnership.
“She tends to be strict and firm towards my impulsive and reckless suggestions. However, if I did push through with some of those then I might not be here answering these questions.” – Ron
“When she’s bossy and always making herself right about everything.” – Ledge
“She’s too bossy.” – Josef
Nothing is flattering about observing your partner and seeing them waste their energy or potential.
“Putting too much effort and energy on people and things that won’t do the same to her, resulting in frustration and producing pressure that she can’t bear.” – Iris
“When he just lies around all day on his phone” – Lena
What do you think about this list? Did you find things you can relate to?