With the accessibility of social media, random mall or grocery encounters, and looming family reunions, no woman – married or unmarried – is marked safe from prying friends and relatives who shamelessly ask the ubiquitous question, “Kailan ka magkaka-anak?” in all its forms and variations.

This is not to say that women are not aware of their ticking biological clock. But times have changed. More women want to take their time before getting pregnant, for reasons that go beyond their age. They, along with their husbands, are also more vocal about their choice. Take a closer look at their reasons in this article.

A couple may have waited for a long time before deciding to get married, but readiness in becoming a lifetime partner does not equate to readiness for parenthood. Most newlywed couples nowadays want to enjoy each other’s companies first. Laisa, now 8 months married to her husband Heron, echoes this view.

It’s not just Gen Z couples who share this sentiment. After 11 years of being together, Bianca said “I Do” to the love of her life Andrew almost two years ago. As a millennial couple, they believe that their relationship as husband and wife is not at all similar to their relationship prior to getting married, and this is what they want to focus on and nurture for now.

It has long been established that marriage shouldn’t put an end to one’s dreams. It can actually be the fuel for the couple to dream bigger, and it’s completely okay to delay parenthood because of these dreams.

Bianca shares that being child-free for now allows her and Andrew to go to places more easily and to try new things to do as a couple. Moreover, they’re also still in the season of giving back to their families – a gesture that is not required of them, but they love doing anyway.

Elvie, who’s been a wife for a year now, considers career growth as an important factor to consider before having a baby. She also emphasized that it’s not just the wife who should have a say on the matter of pregnancy and parenthood.

While it is true that it is the woman who bears the child for a long time, and her physical, mental, and emotional readiness is of prime importance, her husband’s preparation should not be pushed aside. Ryan, a husband of two years to Gelline, takes his stand on the matter of making sure both personal and marital goals are met first before having a child.

In a marital relationship, it’s usually the husband who takes the lead on taking the financial responsibility to support his family. In this time when health-related expenses are not what they used to be, husbands like Floyd, 2 years married to his wife Ella, is aware that financial preparedness equates to a happier home and family life. Thus, he courageously admits:

In relation to this, couples also consider their capacity to provide a space conducive to raising a child. For instance, Floyd and his wife currently live in a 14sqm space, which they believe is a space too small “for a stroller or a crib.” Bianca also shares that she and her husband aim to “have a home that son or daughter can call his or her home.” With these said, money is a factor that cannot be overlooked in preparing to have a baby.

It’s no secret that raising a family in this day and age comes with a high price tag, and having money especially set aside for pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond allows parents to become more present in their child-rearing tasks.

Married couples nowadays don’t accept things at face value. They challenge the norm and break cycles that they believe does not serve them or the future generation. More newly married couples attest to prioritizing healing their inner child first so they don’t pass on traumas to their children.

If anything, married couples see their marriage as a point of reflection: to look back at their individual childhoods and see what they can replicate and what they should let go of.

Married couples want to take their time. The weight carried by the question, “Kailan ka magkaka-anak?” can stir up pressure among wives and husbands that shouldn’t be there in the first place. Asking this question to individuals or couples may be in the context of a joke, but people on the receiving end take this matter seriously. After all, it’s only they who can provide an answer to the question, “Why do we really want to have kids?” – something that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Take Floyd’s answer as a point of reference.

As a wife, Bianca understands that pregnancy is not all about giving in to societal pressure. According to her, her age or society’s definition of childbirth “completing” a woman are not her bases for pregnancy. She believes that when the topic of pregnancy is brought to the table, a strong mindsetting is required of her.