The recent news about two kids in Pampanga who were last seen playing around a parked car, entering its passenger seat, and never making it out alive after a few hours devastated the local parenting community and brought questions about parental neglect.

Just this week, another tragic incident involved a four-year-old boy, allegedly still sleeping when left, falling to death from a high-rise condominium’s 27th floor in Cebu City. This further intensified discussions on the importance of parental supervision.

When is it really safe to leave your children on their own?

While age is the topmost consideration, kids should never be left alone unless they can already do these five things:

First things first: will your kids be able to attend to this basic need once you leave them?

It’s one thing to prepare a meal and serving it on the table, it’s another thing for your kids to be able to put together a snack or another set of meal when their tummies go rumbling. Will opening the fridge and reaching for food on the pantry shelves be safe for them? Did the food you leave them to consume need reheating? If yes, can they safely plug or unplug appliances needed?

Based on this criterion alone, toddlers, preschoolers, and early grade schoolers should never be left alone – even if you know you’ll only be gone for a few minutes.

As a rule of thumb, never leave your children alone if they have a medical condition. It will be very difficult for them to ask for help from a neighbor or a relative once they feel the earliest signs of being unwell.

Moreover, emergency home situations such as power outage, flooded toilets, kitchen fire, need immediate attention. On their own, your kids should be able to identify that these cases may affect their safety. They should know what to do and how to reach you in the fastest way possible.

A lot can happen during the time you are away from your kids which are not necessarily emergency situations. For example, a vendor or courier knocks on your door, a stranger calls on your landline, or a neighbor suddenly invites you for lunch.

These are seemingly simple situations, but don’t underestimate them. Your kids may be tricked to pay for a parcel already paid, may be misinformed in the phone call that you’ve met an accident, or may respond to the neighbor’s invite while leaving your front door unlocked.

Your kids may be getting off the wrong foot without their knowledge, and it’s best they’re armed with the basic knowledge to respond to situations which are out of their routine.

Your kids will get bored without adult supervision and will tend to look for things to do which might pose danger. It’s best to provide them with a set of activities to do to make their time worthwhile, and to keep their mind off the seemingly long time of waiting for you.

You may allow them to use their gadgets but only at specific time and on certain conditions: for example, only after they’ve taken a bath and cleaned up their room, done chores they are already capable of doing, or attended to home works or reading assignments.

While it’s best to leave your kids when they can already follow more complex instructions, it’s a must to consider first whether they are in the level of following simple instructions.

These instructions cover all the points mentioned above, and all your dos and don’ts:

Don’t let anyone enter the house, even if they introduce themselves as a friend.

Don’t share they’re alone on social media.

Don’t give your whereabouts away.

Do practice alertness and mindfulness.

Do exercise caution in everything they do.

Do know who to contact and call once they need anything, and most importantly:

Do ask for help when they need it.