Growing up is never easy especially for toddlers who are starting to develop big emotions. It can get so uncomfortable for them that the only way they can cope is by screaming, crying, and basically, throwing a tantrum. Now, we know it can trigger sooo much emotions from you as parents, but this is the time your toddler needs you the most. Here are 5 tips to make them feel your support and understanding as you help them calm down.
Just like a conversation between two adults, you can get your message across clearer if both of you are on the same level. Kneel in from of your toddler rather than looking down on him or her. It’s important that your eyes are on the same level so that just by your body language, your toddler will feel that you are a safe person who is on their side.
Find a spot where you and your toddler can easily hear each other. Aside from protecting your toddler from cold glares from random people, moving to somewhere quiet will encourage your toddler to let out his or her real emotions. This will also give you enough breathing space to regulate your own emotions without worrying about how other people are judging your parenting decisions.
“I’m listening” and “I understand” are statements that will truly help you express your support for you toddler. Even if you don’t understand anything they are saying because they are either crying, shouting, or mumbling, utter these statements and see how they react to your assuring words.
If your toddler is ready, give him or her a hug during or after a meltdown. A hug is like water thrown to fire–it can immediately control the flames when used at the right time. Physical comforting is the clearest gesture your toddler can understand. If he or she allows a hug, give it generously and tightly!
It’s normal for toddlers to hit or throw things when they are angry or upset. It’s their way of coping and expressing how they feel. Help them regulate by firmly grasping their hands and saying that you don’t want them to hurt themselves or others. This is a teaching moment for you. You can be firm but still express all your actions in a calm and loving manner.