Raise your hand if you’ve experienced dreading hearing comments from people about how you look, being mistaken for someone other than your kids’ mom because you’re slouching behind them in ill-fitting clothes, or feeling unhappy with the way you look but are unsure about how to change things.

Dear Mama, it’s okay to feel this way. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed and a bit lost when it comes to finding your spark and making time for yourself postpartum. The good news is, this is only a phase in motherhood and it is within our power to move past this phase once we are ready.

Here are tips and tricks from chic moms who have cracked the code on redefining their personal style after giving birth:

You don’t need a closet full of trendy designer pieces to look great! Finding your personal style entails learning what you like and getting pieces that best complement you.

Mommy Junnel, 35, mom of a three year old, shares how a well-defined personal style is a crucial step in becoming more confident about yourself even after having kids.

As for Mommy Rio, 27, mom of a 1 year old girl, getting your confidence back doesn’t require complex steps.

“Tiis ganda” is not a philosophy that blends well with motherhood. We already have enough on our plates without having to struggle with shoes that rub our heels raw or clothes that constantly need to be pulled into place. Whether you’re breastfeeding an infant on the go, chasing after an active kid in the park, or picking up your teen from rehearsals, you need outfits that you can put on and then forget.

Mommy Rio said it best: “I prioritize comfort now, and on most days, I can’t be bothered to think about my outfit anymore!” 

Here are more tips you might find useful: Check if your clothes fit you correctly. Seams should align with your body and there should be no fabric bunching up or hanging too loosely. Make sure the materials you are wearing are compatible with the weather and temperature where you are. Consider choosing a cute pair of sandals or some minimalist sneakers that might be better suited for the errands you are planning to run. Set yourself up for success by investing in good quality pieces that make you look good while you focus on your to-do list.

Life as a parent can be super hectic and before we know it, our physical health has been pushed to the backburner. No wonder we always feel tired and sluggish! Physical movement triggers neurochemicals that can help us feel happier and more relaxed.

Mommy Hazzel, 34, a mom with a 14-year-old son, shares the importance of exercise:

Incorporating exercise into our schedule doesn’t have to mean two-hour intense gym sessions if that’s not your thing. Find something that you enjoy, whether it’s running, swimming, or dancing along to your favorite songs. If you’re struggling to squeeze in time to exercise, you can start small by taking the stairs more often instead of riding the elevator or deliberately choosing parking spaces that require you to walk more. This is a good time reconnect with your body and discover all the fun and great things that you’re capable of doing!

Mommy Junnel I discovered her love for yoga, HIIT, circuit and functional training and she still does these as a mom. For her, it’s a form of self-care, and she feels having more energy physically and mentally with these, which is exactly what moms need! 

Feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated is a common complaint among stressed out moms. It’s hard to feel just like YOU when you have to be so many things for so many people and, with time, that can lead to neglect and resentment. But you will never have time for yourself if you aren’t intentionally carving out time.

There’s you before becoming a mom, and Mommy Junnel reminds you to connect with that person.

The psychological component of feeling “losyang” might also be triggered by unrealistic expectations of how you should look and how you should feel after having kids. If you find yourself saying unkind things about yourself, remind yourself that no matter how you look or feel, you deserve love and compassion because your worth as a person is not tied to your weight or your wardrobe.

Mommy Rio shares that it took her over a year postpartum to “feel beautiful again.” This is why she reminds you that although it takes time, you “will get your pink back, even more vibrant, if you make an effort to do things and show up for yourself.”  

Finally, Mommy Hazzel emphasizes:

At the end of the day, “losyang” is only a label that applies to us if we accept it. Popular culture would have us believe that “bouncing back” after having a child should be a priority, but the truth is, we are all just trying to be the best partners and parents that we can be and there’s nothing wrong with that priority shift.

You may not necessarily fit other people’s idea of what a beautiful mom should look like, but what matters most is how you feel about yourself and the smile on your child’s face when they see how comfortable and confident you are in your own skin.

You became a new person when you became a mother and, instead of looking at these physical and mental changes with sadness or shame, you can use this time to get to know and fall in love with the strong and beautiful women you’ve become.